Some good shots/music but

#210584
AvatarMikel
Participant

Some good shots/music but have to admit I don't have a clue what the story was so will simply add a few remarks on what stuck out the most. Near the beginning as he passes the young girl behind the fence he stops and the shot after… the camera is moving still, as if POV. Should have had him notice her, show that shot, THEN show him stopped and looking back. Also, the folding of the letter from the low angle. I think the same 2 shots were repeated there, once when he folded it and again where he is placing it in the envelope. Necessary twice each ? Also, the newspaper story when he is in the bathroom. It shows the story, then him before he goes to look at it. I would have left that first one out, as you see the girl and the story right after that anyway. Those few things just stood out to me the most. Maybe a re-edit would help the totally uninformed(like me) what is actually taking place here, can't say, but A for effort regardless. Few can get something even this far if shooting alone or if there is no budget. Best wishes from here on out!

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