In other promotional videos I have done, some text or graphics on the screen at the same time the speakers is enumerating his points can help show the importance of a point and make it more memorable.
I personally like the office setting but it might have been better looking with more color (they were very bland) – Perhaps a green screen and virtual background/set might have been more appropriate.
The overall production was good but seemed a little to subdued for me – He is trying to sell a service and while Billy Mays (RIP) might be obnoxious, his enthusiasm was contagious and came through very strongly – Your pitchman sounded as if he was trying to sell cemetery plots or bibles, not business building websites.
As I said, I thought the production was very well done technically (editing, sound, lighting – ok maybe kill the desk lamp) but it needed more oomph.
Just MHO.
