1- I have it in the contract that I retain the rights to use footage for promoting myself but I don't retain the rights to sell it. As long as they pay for the agreed on project I give them a copy of the originals after, they can do what ever they want with it. Once I've filmed a wedding I move on and I would only be interested in those little tidbits that would shine up a demo reel. I don't film tape anymore so they have to provide a external for it.
I shoot with picture styles that are a bit desaturated and flat so they would have to do some color grading anyway, more power to them if they want to do something else with it.
2- I do mostly DVD's but the cloud storage is picking up and I include a cloud upload with the package if they want or an upload to youtube or what ever so they have a digital copy in HD somewhere.
I actually get more requests for the original footage from corporate work, so companies can use footage in commercials or what ever down the road. I usually give that up as well and I have had it come back to me in another project for the company, so they just stored it and I didn't have to.