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Great question! My kids may be a little older (13 and 15) but I found that if you let them have as much input as possible, then they will fully participate and have an incredible bonding experience.
I did a video for my church about communication between parents and kids and at first they wanted nothing to do with it (they thought they may be embarassed in front of their friends). Even though I wrote a detailed script, I basically just explained what I wanted to do on each scene and asked them what they would do or say, and it really made it even better.
If you want to take a look, feel free to do so here: http://www.cfex.com/tccc/VideoIdols.wmv (Keep in mind, we didn’t spend a whole lot of time on it 😀 The video was a hit at church and the reaction from their friends was great – It really opened them up to do more later. Last weekend, my son brought 4 classmates over to do a project as a video newscast. They were pretty excited when I brought out a green screen to do backdrops (my son made some major points that day)
Anyway, sorry to ramble, but when your hobby takes up a lot of your free time, I try to find as many ways to include my family into my passion. The bottom line is that as a perfectionist, it can be hard to relinquish control over the creative process, but if you can step back and allow your kids to be creative, it will turn out even better than you had hoped.