For me, the piece doesn’t hang together. There’s no real story line; I don’t know where I am and what I’m watching, why the guys are swinging on ropes,or diving off the bank into a standing wave, etc. The fades to black don’t really make any narrative sense and create a choppy feel to the piece. The slow motion seems totally gratuitous: it doesn’t reveal anything about kayaking technique, the awesomeness of the piece of water the kayaks are on or anything else. It’s a gimmick.
The piece appears to be about the challenge or thrill or joy of kayaking Class III water, yet the music suggests something entirely different, perhaps a romantic picnic in a flower-covered meadow on a hot summer day.
The photography is good and you’ve got some great shots of kayaking. Your cuts, however, especially when they relate to slow motion, sometimes come at inopportune moments — 1:16 for example, with the green boat. I don’t really get to see the kayaks in operation.
The kayaking you show us is really cool; lots of white water, spills and thrills. You’ve got the footage. Why not try editing this again. Pick some really up-tempo music, something that drives the piece, and cut the kayaking shots to the music. Use slow motion (if you must) where it reveals something about the skills or dangers. I think this will build the piece into something really exciting.
Jack
http://www.videoccasions-nw.com
