1. Hopefully your contract
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1. Hopefully your contract states that YOU own all the raw footage. If not, it should be in there. Never ever give your client the raw footage. This is no different than a still photographer keeping all the original images. After all, this is the way they make their money after the wedding.
2. The deliverables can and should be whatever the client wants, be it DVD or digital (i.e. web based) files.
For DVDs, stick to well known names. I've been using Taiyo Yuden (now JVC) Watershield DVDs for several years now and never had any problems with them. In a pinch I'll use Verbatim but that's it for brands that I trust. I never let my maximum bitrate exceed 8,000,000. If the video is too long (over 2 hours) to fit on a single DVD, burn it as a 2 disc set. The quality will be much better and your client will be happier.
Mike