Some feedback would be great, please.

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    • #51969

      Hi all.
      I´ve finished one little sci-fi action scene…could you check it please?:

      Thank you!

    • #204914

      Wow!!!  You know how to direct and make great looking film.  Great action.


      Very impressive.  Especially to me who doesn't know about special effects and has no crew. I get a premise in my head and then head out to my backyard and improvise a 1 to 4 minute movie.  Sometimes I stay inside.



      My critique is, action needs suspense.  In action sequences like this one adding suspense makes viewers really pay attention.  As far as we know, he is the hero so if a blast strikes too close and he falls over and it looks like the craft is about to deliver the kill shot. He should use something that would already be there to get out of the way or deflect it.  At the hill, if he fell he could use a piece of foliage to grab onto and pull himself away. Dangling there until he jumps down.  It's not a far drop but it could look that way.

      When he goes through the tunnel, he goes all the way through and I was thinking "STAY IN THE TUNNEL"  Because I knew the craft was about to fly over. To continue the premise we think we are watching, if he stayed in a bit and then peered out and saw nothing he could then leave the tunnel and move away.  The next shot would be of him facing camera and then the craft moves into view behind him.  "OH NO!"  But he turns around casually and takes off his glasses for the reveal.


      That's my thought.  I always am thinking about story and how to create suspense as I love thrillers and action thrillers and so on.  But all genres need that element of suspense.  For great use of location and using things around him to get out of trouble, I think Diehard 4 is something to emulate.


      But compared to your ability to make this short film, it is nothing.  I can't offer technical critique just narrative.


      If it helps good.  If you think my ideas are dumb, that's fine too.




    • #204948

      Hey, very cool action scene! I love the color grading you used – the  cold, blue effect causes tension on its own and the actor sells the sci-fi suspense by dodging bullets and explosions on a dead run.


      I agree with Barry, he should have "stayed in the tunnel"!  But with every good sci-fi or suspense movie, the audience is always yelling at the victim – "DON"T GO IN THAT DARK ROOM" or "DON"T GO OUTSIDE" so good job…you accomplished the "screaming at the victim" reaction. 


      Would like to compliment you on the very impressive 3D camera tracking also – the ship looks so real in the shots.


      Great job charliman.

    • #204961

      Thank you  Mhageman


      For reminding me of the :don't do that: part of movies.  It is a great way to bring in the audience.

        I was thinking one way about suspense but you brought up another excellent way.

      It's good to be reminded of all the options that can be used.


      mE dum, U  sMaRT


    • #205822

      I just happened by. Even though my skill level may not be relative to you, I personally notice that the 'spaceship' appears to be animated somewhat, not real, as compared to the human on the ground. Something is missing in the way of  special affects. In any event, it is a very good representation, but not life like.

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