making a video journal. Have no idea what I’m doing. Send help!

Last year I went to Mexico during the day of the dead. I brought with me my Sony Camera and Røde Microphone to film a video journal. At first, I was thinking of uploading footage to youtube regularly, so that my folks at home could see what I was up to, but I quickly decided that it would be better to wait until I got home so that I could put together something better.

I've now turned the footage into a 20 minute journal/documentary type thing and need some critique. Be as harsh as you want as I'm sure people on Youtube are even harsher.

Keep in mind that this is not a commercial video, I have little experience, and no budget. It was made using a free edition of Lightworks.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8gXFZreB0UQ
 

Am I easy to understand? Is it easy to understand what's going on? Are any of my monolouges boring? Are there parts I should just remove from the video?

Some self-critisism first:

1. I would often zoom out or zoom in on things I was filming, because I thought going from an overview shot to focusing on an object and viceversa would look good. When I got home I discovered that I had done this on nearly every clip, which was way to much and made it hard to find clips where I wasn't constatly zooming.

2. I get anxious about filming in public. This means that I will often start filming, and quickly stop to avoid bringing attention to myself. It also means that most of my clips are shorter than I prefer, and many places I've had to use a series of short clips, where I'd prefer to use one that was longer.

3. The audio sounds louder in some parts than others. I'm going to fix that.

4. I use blackouts when there's a jump in time or change in scenery. Does this work?

Notes on specific parts:

1. The transition at 12:00 feels wierd. I tried to remove the dissolve and just have it jump straight from one clip to the next, but that also feels wrong. I feel like there should be another clip in between to make the progression feel more natural, though I don't know what to put.

2. I'm planning on getting 13:52 subtitled.

3. the travel montage that starts at 15:43 feels very long. I've shortened it down in Ligthworks, but haven't exported yet.

4. The title for chapter 4 starts at 18:00, a short while AFTER I've arrived in Zipolite. Is this a strange placement?

5. Does the minute long story at 19:20 feel unnecesary.

6. I have no idea how to end it.

Thanks to anyone that can provide feedback!
-Ole