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March 22, 2013 at 6:31 PM #55558MikkelcpParticipantHey guys.I would like some feedback for this video i created. I would spcifically like to know weather the message and the explanation of the concept is clear and understandable. Also this is my first video of this kind, so all kinds of constructive critisism is more than welcome. I have been using only Premiere and Photoshop.Please note that the sound isn't final and will be remade.Thank you in advance.– Mikkel Petersen
March 22, 2013 at 8:30 PM #206598BarryParticipant
Glad to give my feedback. Especially since I have had trouble getting feedback for my video. So I want to do my part.
I am a sometime actor. Do a lot of comedy, mostly corporate improv, I also teach improv.
Done a little freelance writing for a CBC show but not much. Started teaching myself
Filmmaking about a year ago.
I start that way so you can judge where the feedback is coming from and if worth consideration.
When you say your sound isn't final, do you mean the technical part of will it be rerecorded?
As I have some notes about the narration. But if that part is in the can then why bother.
But I will make a few comments about the script anyway.
Firstly the animation is done very well and moves the story along. Everything should be thought of in Story terms, It is simple but indicates what is going on. Keeping things simple is important. People are only to hold on to a small part of any kind of presentation,
I have to come from the perspecitve of not owning a classic car, or the desire to rent it out.
I imagine a lot of those people are well off and didn't restore a care over time.
I think the opening would be more effective with full screen shots of various models that then blend into a collage, A wider variety of eras including cars that may have recently became classic would help. Some people may not know they have a classic. For a number of different bookings a Gremlin might be a classic,
I think the part about joining is not as clear as it could be. Also reminding the people of the name of the company is important.
I think saying ONCE YOU JOIN WITH US" YOU WILL RECEIVE A REGISTRATION EMAIL"
could be worded differently as I found it confusing. Because the first step would be to fill out a registration form. and after the company turns it into a profile they email it for confirmation.
Unless this kind of language works in England. I am Canadian. A unique mix of the UK and mericans.
I would put it like this. ONCE YOU HAVE REGISTERED WITH BOOKACLASSIC YOU WILL RECEIVE A CONFIRMATION EMAIL
i would have liked to see a larger version of the profile. Even if it can't be read. it seemed unimportant that small.
Perhaps the no anual fees and no sign costs could be animated twice, I don't think the narration covers it. Actually that is my issue, she is talking but her words aren't being emphasized by the images, the one bag of money with the cross stays there. doing it twice
gives a bigger bang.
DRIVE YOUR OWN CAR OR NOT. is also static. perhaps an image of the figure in a cartoon car and then he dissapears,
I am not in advertising but I know it is better to stay away from negative words when possible.
WORRIED ABOUT BEING BOMBARDED BY INQUIRES.
turn it into a question. Will you be bombarded with inquires? Never, that's BOOKACLASSIC'S JOB. and you repeat the company name again so they will remember it. Shwoing the logo is excellent but reinforcing it with the name adds to that.
While in narrative videos, cutting on an action is good. In this, it made my eyes go funny for a millisecond, When you show the website like scrolling I think it should stop before you cut to the Car. Or scroll down and stop on the hero's profile and zoom it out.
The computer voice is great, But I think it should say BOOKACLASSIC is making
and instead of ONLINE CALCULATION. What about IS CALCULATING THE BEST PRICE.
That's more postive and tells the client you are working for their best interests.
If this is your first work, you are on your way,. you have the talent. It is very impressive.
My criticisms are meant to be constructive. Even if they are way off base.
If you had time could you look at a crazy video I made, I wanted to see how long I could stay in a Freezing Cold Shower, I also wanted it to be funny. If you can't I understand. or if you want to stop watching that's good feedback too, here it is below
Thanks and good luck Barry
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