critique my video please guys :)

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    • #54631
      cecil.schumacher
      Participant

      Hi everyone. I would really appreciate some +tve critique on my movie which I recently entered in a local amateur competition.

      Thanks 🙂

       

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QqA4FIFLL0M&list=UUQbFpdW5mvZFKHFX18u1qZA&index=2

    • #206218
      Creekhouse
      Participant

      The image quality and color grading was good.  I would have liked to have seen more shots in the video (POV of the man shoveling, CU of the shovel and snow, a shot of the man's face perhaps, etc).  To me, digging your own grave should show more pain and/or struggle.  The music was a good selection, considering the title of the video. 

       

      Nice work.

       

      Jon

      http://www.creekhouseproductions.com

    • #206223
      ostar
      Participant

      The video gets alittle boring at the 30 second mark..

       

      color correction was a tad bit warm for the feel of the video

       

      good music selection

    • #206231
      Barry
      Participant

      Hello Cecil

       

      Good for you to start making short movies.

       

      Being open to critique is brave.

       

      I mean my criticisms to be constructive. 

       

      1)  What do you want your movie to accomplish.   I make silly little movies.  Mainly I like to make people laugh or at least smile or be entertained.

       

      I am not sure what you want to do with this movie.  If the Translation is correct, plus the music, I assume you want an audience to feel sad or maybe to consider loneliness?  I am grasping at straws.

       

      2) The images are neutral.  If the title was Helping a Neighbour and you put upbeat  music on it. The images would fit that as well.

       

      3) I don't know if you have a philosphy about movies.  Some independent filmmakers who make low budget films don't believe in the idea of story.  It is not for them.   There are people who like those films.  But that audience is very limited.

       

      Otherwise.  movies no matter how short should have a story. 3 things are needed for a simple story.

      Establish the main character or characters and location.   Have a problem that affects them arise.

      Resolve the problem by them succeeding or failing.

       

      If you want to make more movies and tell stories.  You should read some screenwriting books and websites. You don't have to want to be a screenwriter but the best directors understand story.To start :  Think Begginning, middle and end.    It can get more complicated but that's a place to start.

       

      This is a clip of somebody shoveling snow.  Knowing the title and with the music I expected him to have a heart attack as that happens to people shoveling.  But nothing happens

       

      4) Use your camera.  It looks like you set up in one location and then zoomed in on various areas.

      You don't need many angles.  But changing the camera position makes it more interesting

      I don't know if you made this movie alone and are the person shoveling snow,  But you can still change where the camera is. Long shots, Medium Shots, Closeups

       

      I make my silly little movies alone.   I would like some help or some actors, but I have trouble looking for collaborators.

      But I still use various camera angles to tell my stories.  They are usualy between1 minute and 4:30Min

      I have  gone on more than I am sure you wanted,  

      Good luck, read about moviemaking.  Watch movies with an anyltical eye and see how they do it. Or not do it.

       

       

      All the best

      Barry

    • #206264
      Brian
      Participant

      When I was a young editor, I had the benefit of working with a director who chastised me for insiting on using dissolves at every transition.  His wise words?  "Disssolves are for people who can't cut."  There really is some truth to that.  Ditch the pointless dissolves.

      Dramatic music doesn't make drama, it only enhances it.  You have to build drama with different camera angles (use a tripod next time) and some form of a story.  

       

      Honestly, it seemed pretty pointless.  Hear me, pointless is okay.  Warhol once made a film of a friend sleeping for 5+ hours just be okay when nobody sticks around for the ending.  I like the look of the footage and really wanted to like your clip but in the end I felt like the guy who watched all 5+ hours of a guy catching a few Zs.  

       

       

    • #206272
      cecil.schumacher
      Participant

      Thanks for your comments guys.

       

      As a response, I would say that Brian has hit on the motivation reasoning, or lack of, with his repetitive use of the word 'pointless'.

       

      Thanks to you also Barry for your extensive critique, I feel pretty confident in saying that you definately spent more time typing that then we did filming and editing the movie. 

       

       

       

    • #206275
      Barry
      Participant

      You are very welcome.

       

      I do go on. I am not a teacher in anything to do with filming but I teach Improvisation and that is all about creating simple stories.  But stories that are very important to the characters.   Even if it's about making a sandwich, it's the most important sandwich they have ever made.

      Because I am still learning,  I come up with an idea and a few things to do then improvise.

       

      Since you said WE,  I assume you have friends who work with you.  You are lucky.

      At the begginning it's like a game.   Have fun,  don't worry about if it's right or good.  Just play with the camera, figure out what looks good in the display.  Follow the advice in the comments.

      If you are a even a little serious about making some movies,  this site is a good place to start.  Read the articles and watch the videos that you feel apply to what you want to do

       

      You know one thing I don't,  how to insert your video into these comments.

       

       

      If you are interested this is the link to the first video I made after I bought my fancy camera. It is about a simple problem that the character takes very very seriously.

      There are problems with the sound, problems with focus. a way too brightly lit background in one shot.

       

      But there are only 6 camera placements.   I did this in less than an hour. It is also 1min 30 Sec

       

      https://vimeo.com/45869997

       

      While films are more subtle. When you start, I think the approach I teach to improv students applies.   Not sure what to do.  Pick an emotion and commit to it at its highest level.  Or if you are not sure, Be incredibly enthusiastic.  Obviously that works better for comedy.  But being completely committed to sad will work if you don't fake it.  Then it will be comedy.

       

       

      Have fun and this forum is great place to ask questions

       

      Barry

      Look forward to you next effort as long as it has different camera angles

      See I do go on and on

      Maybe this took as long to write as your video.

       

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