[CAMERA PANS LARGE RECEPTION HALL] “This is the crowd gathered for the wedding reception of Ben and Sheila Raster. They were united only half an hour ago in the Church of St. Vladimir of the Tubular Vision. Many in the party are carrying camcorders. Note the large Dumbo-tron screen flashing images from all of the cameras here assembled. The voice you hear belongs to the guy holding this camera. That’s me, Monty, video-psychotherapist. You may remember me as the shrink who has been trying to help Vince Codac to wellness.
“There’s Bill and Sadie. Sadie is shooting her husband, interviewing him. Let’s interview her while we await the arrival of the bride and groom.
“Sadie, what are your thoughts about this marriage?”
“Cut, Bill. Well, Monty, as you know we’ve struggled with video-induced communications problems in our own marriage. My word of advice for the newlyweds: Ben doesn’t have to quit making videos to become a good husband and father, he just has to keep the lines of communication open. After Bill started talking to me about his video passion, I learned enough to shoot decent video myself, wouldn’t you say so honey?”
[CAMERA PANS TO BILL] “Sure enough. Now I can’t get the camera away from her.”
[BACK TO SADIE] “And he can’t stop talking. That’s why I’ve got him in front of the camera for most of our projects now.”
“This is Monty again. We hear now a game-show fanfare announcing the arrival of the newlyweds. Ben is carrying a pocket-sized digital camcorder, and look, the image from his camera is up on the Dumbo-tron. His bride is up there now. Let’s listen to what she’s saying.”
[CUT SHEILA] “You all know that I had almost lost hope for Ben. I thought his first videos were made by a man too selfish to ever truly care for a wife and family. During that time I started dating Vince. He was making great strides recovering from a nonlinear-editing-system-induced trauma. When Ben amended his ways, though, I was faced with a great dilemma: which of these good men was most in sync with me? Each showed that he could endure difficulties and that he could be changed: good husband qualities. In the end, I felt that Vince, with his drive for a nonlinear system that really works, would have the tenacity to become far wealthier than Ben. It’s Ben I picked, though, because he’s the more likely to leave the edit bay to play with the kids–when we have them.”
[BEN’S VOICE OFF CAMERA] “That’s a keeper hon. Classic footage.”
[CAMERA PANS ROOM, LOOKING FOR NEXT SUBJECT AS MONTY RESUMES] “They have every chance at happiness. Look who just walked in. Let’s truck in and talk with my long-term client, Vince Codac. Vince, who’s the lovely lady on your arm?”
“This is someone I’ve told you about. Wanda, meet my video-shrink, Monty.”
[MS OF WANDA. SHE SPEAKS] “Think about it, Monty. Here’s a man who was almost ruined by his passion for video. He was reduced to living in a refrigerator box. But even there, he never lost his hope, his vision or his love for video. He had the ingenuity to piece together editing systems from parts he found in dumpsters and to contract for jobs shooting sidewalk weddings among the homeless. Now, he’s got steady work and a nice place to live again. Here’s my point, Monty. If Vince can suffer and scheme for his love of video, what would he do for his love of his wife? You see Monty, Vince still loves me; I’d be a fool not to stay with him.”
“What do you think about what Sheila said on the Dumbo-tron?”
“She’s right that he’ll probably make more money than Ben, but he’ll probably lose more too. After all, Ben’s still into linear editing.”
“And about Vince not leaving his edit bay to play with the kids?”
“Well, I guess we’ll just have to wait and see, won’t we hon?”
[THIS SHOT OF VINCE FROM MONTY’S CAMERA APPEARS SUDDENLY ON THE DUMBO-TRON AS VINCE SPEAKS] “It’s so hard to say. When you really start to consider the impact that video technology has on everyday life, it gives you pause.”
Stephen Muratore is Videomaker‘s Editor in Chief.