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Short Action Film [RENO: Operation 47]

Benjamin Rogers's picture
Last seen: 8 months 2 days ago
Joined: 06/14/2013 - 8:39pm

Recently uploaded my newest short film and would REALLY appreciate some feedback and advice on it. It features gun fire, hand to hand combat, and the worlds best 12 year old commando... Thanks in advance.


youtubeforbusiness.tv's picture
Last seen: 1 month 1 week ago
Joined: 05/18/2013 - 10:15pm

Considering the age of the people involved the the camera work and direction is really quite good and the acting & script could use a little maturity it's still absolutely no worse than what you would see in a B-movie at 3 o'clock in the morning.

 

 Here's my point by pointThe establishment shot it might get some extra drama from even more of a lens push or even a  dolly move just a little bit of movement would've helped the mood.  The first interior scene would have been helped by a few extreme close-ups just to get a little bit more facial reaction and maybe just a fraction more coluor in the lighting. 1: 15 the Capture scene it looks a little too clean and well lit it could have possibly been a little more gritty or grainy.  Try by adding a little bit of motion blur to some of the punches also in the fight scene, also after the hit where the hero looks up at the guy with the glasses and the gloves an L or J cut might have let him hold the look to camera longer while the first 2 to 4 words were spoken off camera.  1:59 the initial handheld is good but when you come back up the corridor maybe a dolly would have worked a little better and smoother and let us focus on the villains.  Also maybe just giving some of the fluorescent tubes half a twist to turn them off or make them blink or flickr a bit would've given this scene of the bit more grity spy movie style.  2:38 just a a few white bed sheets thrown over that skylight would have reduced the light a bit and made it less distracting or if you couldn't do that try making use of it and get a little bit of dust or smoke in the air so that they walk through a beam of light rather than just having one part where she is over exposed.  Also I'm not convinced by your choice of music for the whole project, (although the end titles work), you might be better off finding a friend that is a potential composer and getting him to do some chuck style music for your next feature. But overall I would have to say seriously well done very few people (of any age) actually finish something of this level, it's very impressive for your age and so much more work than most people imagine.  Just getting 15 people to go in the same direction for any length of time is quite an effort and you should be very VERY proud of what you have achieved.   WELL DONE - I hope you DO get have the future of your dreams ~ Peter      

Peter FitzGerald,

www.youtubeforbusiness.tv
Cost effective, creative and engaging video production for small business
 


Benjamin Rogers's picture
Last seen: 8 months 2 days ago
Joined: 06/14/2013 - 8:39pm

Thank you very much for your detailed feedback, it really helps! I was actually going for a slightly over the top, cheesy, 80's action flick parody. Agreed on the close ups and the lighting. Used some shop lights that cast a yellow glow over the whole scene. I really would like to use a dolly, however my budget was kind of low. (As in nothing...) I didn't have that much control over the building we used for a set, it is in use as a storage facility and I didn't want to mess with the stuff that was there. Good idea on the dust in the air, might have to try that next time. To tell you the truth, I have a hard time finding "actors" let alone a composer. Although I would LOVE to have a custom score for one of my shorts. (I may have to search around for a volunteer writer next time.) I appreciate that you took the time to watch and your comments really are a big help!




Cville's picture
Last seen: 1 month 3 days ago
Joined: 03/28/2009 - 7:58pm

Nice. Keep on shooting!

 

 

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