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The Jump - (our first short)

tsarp's picture
Last seen: 1 year 10 months ago
Joined: 06/19/2012 - 10:19pm

This short was made for 2012 TropFest (TSI bagel).

Made by three and a half people in less than a week on shoe string budget.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sG8vEa7R9EM

Tell us what you think!

Thanks!


garyjay's picture
Last seen: 11 months 3 weeks ago
Joined: 06/10/2012 - 12:57pm

Hi
My honest opinion was this....At first I thought it was very well shot, editedand the colour grading was good too...

I started watching it and It had me at the beginning because I wanted to see what was going on.

However, as time when on I started to skip parts because the lack of dialogue made me feel like it was empty.

Apart from that, for your first short I thought it was good and definatly desreved a review since you took the time to post it for that reason.

So, Well done.... But more talking next time (Just my opinion)... 7 out of 10.


Gregory Watts's picture
Last seen: 12 months 1 day ago
Joined: 10/25/2010 - 2:31am

Wow, the symbolism was right on. I will be burning this to DVD. I loved the switch to 4:3 when we went back in time. I had to review the showing of the photos, I am still a little lost, but I know it is all there, so I will watch it again. I had to watch Inception about 3 times before I "got" it.

I thought it was an great piece of work.

Now for my red marker.

1) The foot falls were off in a few places so I was "looking" for someone else, in other places they seemed too loud.

That is the ONLY thing I would alter, except for the crickets, poor things they do not know the night time from the day time.

From a directors view, I would have done two small minor changes to the lead, more "deliberate" in his actions, he is on a mission, he has a purpose (not a plan) plans change a purpose does not, therefore his demeanor, his walk, even his gestures have to show that he has ONLY that purpose in mind.

I would also have had him chew his gum more slowly, and with purpose, in fact the gum could have carried over throughout as a symbol of purpose.

But over very well done,

I give you 4.5 stars out of 5, those blasted crickets out in the daytime, birds, even crows.

Nicely done.

 "A Photo Captures but a Moment in Time: Video Captures a Lifetime in a Moment"


tsarp's picture
Last seen: 1 year 10 months ago
Joined: 06/19/2012 - 10:19pm

Thank you!

Apart from this being my first work as a DoP and also writers/producers/directors first short I personally think that the biggest problem was lack of time.

I was pushed hard to catch the deadline for TropFest that this short was made for. Most of the film was shot unrehearsed and almost in realtime (really). Made under a week and only 3 days for entire postproduction. No retakes, my first composition was the one we used, no experimenting.

Our next project will DEFINITELY be more thought out and better made but we still wanted to get some exposure/feedback even if it didn't turn out quite the way we wanted.

Thank you again for your comments!


Gregory Watts's picture
Last seen: 12 months 1 day ago
Joined: 10/25/2010 - 2:31am

@Gary; Non-dialog films if done well are extremely in demand. I am working on one at the current time.

A few years ago one either one or placed in a festival somewhere in Europe. It was about a boy, at first in the tub, with himself looking down at himself. himself tried to drown himself. Then he was looking into the mirror with himself standing behind himself. (no words ever said in the film) He than walked into the kitchen and "saw' his mom at the counter, he approached her but was blocked by a glass wall, you could see he was yelling, but nothing was heard. In the end he sat down to a boxed dinner at the table with his father who was drinking. We learned that his mother recently died.

It was 30 minutes and indeed took some discipline to sit through, but worth it. Non-verbal films rely very heavy on the story itself to carry the audience, also there is a lot of symbolism in non-verbal films.

Here in the U.S. they have so many computers and special effects that actors seldom act, they narrate or "explain" the story and that is what most here have gotten use to.

I watch a lot of foreign films (some are sub-titled), I have a large library of them. At first my family despised them , lack of special effects, and hard to follow with such little dialog. But in the end they got to enjoy them, my oldest son told me that he enjoys them more in some ways because they "tell" the story, it took a while for him to come off the effects/dialog wagon, but when he started to WATCH he got the point of films.

In fact Gary it is a requirement that persons going to school to learn filmmaking watch a list of film with the audio OFF.

I believe you are missing out on a very large world by skipping ahead because something is hard to follow with no dialog.

Here is a short list of suggested films to watch with no audio,

The Outsiders-The Complete Novel (By the end of the movie you still understand the story)

Tom's Midnight Garden (Not available in region 1-But the story telling is over the top)

This list can be extended. But what you are hearing is causing you to miss out on the bigger picture.

 "A Photo Captures but a Moment in Time: Video Captures a Lifetime in a Moment"


garyjay's picture
Last seen: 11 months 3 weeks ago
Joined: 06/10/2012 - 12:57pm

Its just a personal thing and I hope I haven't offended Tsarp?.

Cheers for the list and i'll of course have a look, but my personal thought is that we have moved on from the days of silent cinema, but I suppose its like everything.... Things always come back round.

But like I said personally I like a film with dialogue.

Saying that, I still think it was a well shot project especially for a first film.


Gregory Watts's picture
Last seen: 12 months 1 day ago
Joined: 10/25/2010 - 2:31am

In the days of silent movies, they used extreme facial expressions and cue cards. A non-verbal film is not in the same family as a silent film. Were you able to attend any type of schooling for video production, even in high school?

I played 2nd chair trumpet for many years, as well as cornet, french horn, baritone, etc. In music before one picks up his instrument he has to take music appreciation. It is only when you get into the study do you realize the need to learn the undercurrents of the art. When my son took music he at first did not understand why they were making him do music appreciation. Within 2 weeks he was full of insightful information, he had a deeper understanding of music, and can now enjoy the classical music.

Video is no different. It is far more than fights, explosions, fast taking, and special effects. Although those things are an art in of themselves, the art of videomaking comes in the storytelling, and you do not need words to tell a story. You referred to these as silent movies, when you have time watch a few, then re-watch this or any other non-verbal film, your viewpoint may change. A non-verbal film is not a silent movie, he has sound effects. In the Hollywood version of movie making the story is in how many effects you can do or how much eye candy you have. The real art of movies is lost with Hollywood and most Americans are being raised with this view, that non-verbal films are the modern silent movies.

If you have not had the chance to take any courses in movie production there are many things you can do from home, a great deal of good books, and video training courses, I do not intend to be offensive.

Think about shows such as CSI or any of the off the wall modern cop shows, or some of the more advanced effects movies, take for example iRobot, it was a great story but a lot of time was lost in the actors narrating how things work to the audience. in reality if you did a job everyday and all of a sudden something life serious was taking place you would not stop to explain it a visitor how something worked, you would just do your job. In some movies most of the dialog is made up of explaining the tools they use, even to each other. I remember an episode of Crossing Jordan, the long haired guy was "explaining" how to run a test, to Bug, but in fact it was the first time they used this contraption on the show and it was being explained to the audience, Bug knew what he was doing. In American the audience is treated as stupid, every device has to be explained.

I enjoyed the movie's "Signs" and "The Village" We were left to the very end to piece it together, of course they bombed because Americans can't get the picture anymore.

I know no one can change the viewpoint of another, however video production's that are more about the story telling than the story belong on youtube.

 "A Photo Captures but a Moment in Time: Video Captures a Lifetime in a Moment"


tsarp's picture
Last seen: 1 year 10 months ago
Joined: 06/19/2012 - 10:19pm

You didn't offend me Gary. You expressed your opinion and I'm grateful for your time.

I'm not affraid of critiques and it's still a learning process for me and learning from mistakes is most effective I think - you make sure not to repeat them.

Cheers!


saltlakestudio's picture
Last seen: 11 months 4 days ago
Joined: 05/28/2012 - 5:38am

I personally think the concept was okay. The way it was shot was okay too. Just polishing maybe on some effects like the rain (i think the scene when the actor puked, etc and there was rain was to sudden), the acting of the actor ( i thought at first he was just strolling or dealing something like drugs but not as a killer/assasin), and the sound effects.


garyjay's picture
Last seen: 11 months 3 weeks ago
Joined: 06/10/2012 - 12:57pm

Well Mr Watts, you are definately a man full of knowledge and knowledge thatI enjoy reading.


birdcat's picture
Last seen: 1 year 7 months ago
Joined: 10/21/2005 - 10:09am
Plus Member Moderator

As Greg mentioned, there is good training out there that is free or cheap.

For no-product specific stuff, I'd stay away from YouTube - many there are poor or worse.

VideoMaker provides a slew of it on the website or via email.

Digital Juice has some really great stuff as well - http://www.digitaljuice.com/djtv/default.aspx (look for stuff from the old guard - Chuck Peters, D. Eric Franks, Ace Gates, Perry Jenkins, Sean Mullen, Rick Green, etc..., specifically the series' "Field Of View", "Tech Know", "Cutting Class", "Take 5", "Suite Effects" and "Production Notes" )

Bruce Paul 7Squared Productions http://www.7squared.com


Gregory Watts's picture
Last seen: 12 months 1 day ago
Joined: 10/25/2010 - 2:31am

Gary; I did not intend to come across as rude or cold if I did. But when I read your first post this it what stood out the most

"However, as time when on I started to skip parts"

You stated that you skipped parts, but then went on to critique his work. To be fair, can one fully critique something they "I started to skip parts"?

In my post I was hoping that you would see that you were giving advice to someone to help him with his work but on something that you did not fully watch....it was less than 9 minutes 30 seconds.

 "A Photo Captures but a Moment in Time: Video Captures a Lifetime in a Moment"



garyjay's picture
Last seen: 11 months 3 weeks ago
Joined: 06/10/2012 - 12:57pm

Greg, I wasn't offended in the least.

But it wasn't really a critisium, it was mypersonal thing..... I like Dialogue.

Thanks for replying though.