Believe me, it virtually takes an act of God to get some of these brides not to hold their boquets too high or to turn towards the camera during the ceremony. I think the videographer, the lowliest of vendors (in the eyes of some, it would seem) trying to convince a bride to change a major effect in her wedding is going to be about like trying to stop a semi on the Interstate by stepping in front of it and holding out your hands. I've lost money on better bets than that.
I've found just the opposite to be true (thankfully!). My brides and their ministers have, by and large, taken my advice and even sought it out. I think its important how the videographer presents himself from the very begining and throughout the process. I've had ministers put several people at my disposal to rearrange pulpit, pianos and lighting on the eve of the wedding, so that I'd be satisfied.
The bride should WANT me to be satisfied, because she's paying a thousand bucks or more for this video, and all I'm trying to do is to make it as good as it possibly can be.
As an example, we did a shoot of an educational video yesterday. This was our first time working with this client who had had over a dozen similiar videos produced previously. I'd asked (two weeks before) for a sample or two so I could give him some continuity, but I didn't get them.
When we got there, I looked things over and explained that we'd have to rearrange a few things (bright-solid-red blouse, statue appearing to come out of narrator's head, light splotches on model from sun roof, wind chime, turn off air conditioning, etc.). The guy in charge objected and said this was the way they'd done all the other ones.
I then laid out what would be wrong if we did things this way - in no uncertain terms - and I said that I woudl not allow my name to be put anywhere on the video if they didn't take my advice. (Not that they were going to put my name on it).
Well, it was like a light bulb went off for this guy. He said, you know - those problems were in the other videos, we just didn't take notice of them. From that point on, I was "the guy in charge". He was beaming as we wrapped things up and he said "I'll bet this is the best one we've ever done!"
That made me feel really good. A lot of videographers probably would have just done it the way the client wanted it. But the way I positioned myself from the start, gained just enough respect that they listened to me and respected my ideas.