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check out my short horror film and give me an honest opinion...don't be rude

imbatman49's picture
Last seen: 3 years 3 months ago
Joined: 08/01/2011 - 3:53am

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tsO6_GRskZ8


EarlC's picture
Last seen: 7 months 6 days ago
Joined: 10/15/2008 - 1:15am
Plus Member Moderator

Clean visuals, poor audio quality and you lost me at 3:48 ... just couldn't bring myself to spend another six minutes with it. Too much of the first guy walking, running, no sense of urgency. Insincere dialog and no realistic reaction when the bearded guy bursts out of the locker.


birdcat's picture
Last seen: 2 years 2 months ago
Joined: 10/21/2005 - 10:09am

You may want to invest in a sandbag or Digital Juice Low Rider for the ground level POV shots - I found the shakiness uncomfortable and noticable. Like Earl, I couldn't get too far in - I was expecting some dialog a lot earlier and a found a lot of the walking around shots redundant.

On the positive side, I found the lighting, framing, angles, composition all good.

I'll watch the whole thing when I have time and let you know what I think.

Bruce Paul 7Squared Productions http://www.7squared.com


D0n
D0n's picture
Last seen: 5 months 2 weeks ago
Joined: 11/09/2007 - 5:28pm

overall I liked it.... there are a number of things that could be torn apart.... but I'm not gonna do that.. what I have to offer for constructive criticism is this:

when the guy turns and runs... I am assuming he saw the owner of that bloody hand? if so, his reactions seem odd inside the building, even when he bumps into the old man.... then there is the continuity issue.... why, if he was aware of zombies running around, was the door unlocked and windows not boarded up? A guy in the city, was one minute in a chicken coop, next in an urban environment in a building with unlocked doors, open windows jumping out of pantries to fight zombies... ????

So others mentioned the audio, and shakey camera shots, I'm mentioning the story/script...

but I must say I commend the effort over all.

My advice would be this... suspense can build and create terror, or it can just come across as slow...

Psychological terror can work, but the story really has to make sense and have continuity to build up fear in a primal yet cerebral way..

then there is gore, and shock value.... gore and shock value work really well for zombie genre films...

I think you should consider this a good try, and hope you keep trying.

I would love to be able to line up the talent and funds to do a project like this, and hope my first effort turns out anywhere near as well.

Here is one of my efforts, which has many many many flaws, but since I did it all by myself with my family for laughs, I think it is ok.... but clearly not anywhere near as good as yours.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q9zSMFgyvdg


Ed Rogers's picture
Last seen: 6 hours 35 min ago
Joined: 02/02/2008 - 2:35am
Plus Member

I watched the entire video.

It's obvious you put a lot of work into the project. Kudos to you and your crew.Good, steadycamera shots, great scenery (fall colors), dismal buildings, good intro music. Great makeup effects. The black and white memory scenes were good.

Needs improvement:The audio should be better.sounds like you only have the left channel.Walking and running scenes too long, less is better.

No change to chase music when bloody handappears (which I thought was cool). Themain character does not appear to be too concerned after being chased uponentering the gloomy building.

Consistency is probably what I'm looking for. The knife appearing out of nowhere wasdisconcerting.

Bottom line: Keepworking at it. I recommend you wait afew weeks, then review the production with your crew. You'll notice things you want to change. I also recommend acquiring at least onewireless or boom microphone.

Keep itup!!


pseudosafari's picture
Last seen: 7 months 1 week ago
Joined: 01/19/2009 - 2:09am

when the character in the tshirt sees the bloody hand at around 1:24, the music should change as he starts to run. the same calm tune doesn't fit the change in scene. music might help create the sense of urgency like earl was mentioning.


imbatman49's picture
Last seen: 3 years 3 months ago
Joined: 08/01/2011 - 3:53am

Hey thanks guys for your compliments and critiques...the film was more of a homage to 70's horror with its gradual build up to a climax...the audio is very poor, and was hoping it wasn't too noticeable...originally i had a sound guy who was gonna use a sennheiser, but he cancelled and i tried to rent one during that week at a local retailer that carried, but it was taken, so I had to use a crappy set up...which was a $40 shotgun mic...it's probably the most disappointing thing for me about the film.

the continuity issues with the film was due to lack of funds...I would've rathered the main character craw through a hole in a wall or a broken window, but could not get permission by anyone to do so in the area. so i just had him walk through a door.

My main goal in this film was to create a spooky atmosphere, with a slow build up. I"m not much into gore but understand it's necessity in a film like this, but I didn't want to shock you with gore, but hopefully make it more psychological.

All of your critiques are well noted, and thank you for your comments AND Don, I really liked your film...keep up the work.


D0n
D0n's picture
Last seen: 5 months 2 weeks ago
Joined: 11/09/2007 - 5:28pm

just try to remember, that a film is like a turkey dinner.... it is a lot easier to critique the food on the plate then it is to actually cook one.... we know all to well all the little things that complicate the creation and creative process....

my little project was more about learning the planning phase, and storyboarding... so I had fun anyways...


imbatman49's picture
Last seen: 3 years 3 months ago
Joined: 08/01/2011 - 3:53am

I agree Don, this actually my very first short film...i've done video before but this is the first one that I actually hired people, created a story and storyboard and rented out a building, etc. I was more driven on atmosphere and creepiness, but I admit that writing a story is not really my forte...So in many ways this movie was like you said, more about learning....


D0n
D0n's picture
Last seen: 5 months 2 weeks ago
Joined: 11/09/2007 - 5:28pm

have you seen "Let the right one in?" or it's Americanized cover... "Let me in"? the first one was very well done on a tiny budget! well worth seeing... with a bigger budget, "Splice" was pretty good as well....

Both worth your time if you're gonna redo some of your editing and shooting for your project.


chamberlane altatis's picture
Last seen: 1 year 1 month ago
Joined: 07/27/2011 - 8:24am

I also like the overall visual. Nice choice of shots! I just agree that there must have been an impact loud sound effects when that piece of bloody hand appeared. But why is it that the guy ran immediately? He did not even take a look at that person yet. I also suggest adding some color grading to the overall scene to add some film look or something. I like those ghost effects and sound effects though.

About the story, I have to admit, I did not get it really.

But good job man! It's really hard to make a film like that. You're on your way and mistakes this time will be an improvement for the next film. Cheers!

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